For more than 130 years, YWCA Peterborough Haliburton has worked to help women and children in our community escape and heal from the effects of gender-based violence. More than an organization, we strive to be a trusted pillar of safety and support, and one that women can turn to in times of need. While thousands of women have walked through our doors to begin their journey of care, the reality remains that gender-based violence exists everywhere, both close to home and around the world.
The story you are about to read is different from those we typically share, as it reflects a moment when YWCA Peterborough Haliburton’s services were not available due to geographic boundaries. Marsha lived outside of our operating area, and as a result, we were unable to directly support her. However, her story is no less essential to our values and mission. Marsha’s resilience, determination, and desire to give back reflect the very outcomes we continuously work towards: women finding a renewed sense of self, confidence, independence, and lives free from violence.
As such, we invite you to read Marsha’s story to better understand both why our services are vital within our community, and why they are urgently needed wherever gender-based violence occurs. Though violence persists, we take confidence in the growing compassion and generosity of community members like you, whose donations make a positive difference!
This is Marsha’s story:
Growing up, I was no stranger to turbulent relationships. My parents were divorced, my father was largely absent from my life, and my mother struggled with bipolar disorder and severe mental health challenges. I was an angry kid trying to navigate life without a strong foundation and was searching for a safe connection. Many days, I felt like it was just me against the world.
When I was 15-years-old, I entered my first serious relationship with a boy older than me. At the time, I felt empowered being chosen by someone older. I threw myself completely into the relationship and convinced myself that I had found the love of my life—my soulmate.
It wasn’t long before the isolation and manipulation began. Then, it escalated into sexual and physical abuse.
All my life, I have loved sports. They are my outlet—a way to channel my emotions and feel part of something safe and steady, something like family. So, when the abuse intensified and my boyfriend began handling me aggressively, sports became more than just an outlet, they became a lifeline. However, eventually, the abuse became so severe that my coach told me I needed to take a break to heal from my injuries. It absolutely crushed me. Not only had my boyfriend isolated me from my friends, he had now cut me off from my safety net, the one place where my body felt safe and secure.
This is when I knew things had to change.
I took my ex-boyfriend to court, but over the course of the abuse, he had convinced me not to document the bruising or speak to the police in great detail. Without definitive proof, he was never held accountable. The lack of closure and justice left a hole in my heart that I did not know how to fix. And because of that unresolved pain, I continued to enter toxic relationships that left me physically and mentally unwell.
My true recovery began years later when I stepped into a boxing gym. I fell in love with boxing immediately. But this time, the sport was not just a lifeline, but an anchor. It was something I could tether myself to as I began rebuilding myself from the ground up.
In the beginning, I boxed with anger because I wanted to hurt my opponents and punish them for all I had felt at the hands of my abusers. I let years of suppressed rage come out in my training and in the rings. As a middle-aged woman, it was not easy to find sparring partners or coaches who would take me seriously. However, I was determined and I kept showing up. As I continued boxing, my self-confidence began to grow.
While I was still an amateur, I earned my Level 1 and 2 competitive coaching licenses. I was driven by an inner knowing that I would one day own a club where others could find the same confidence and healing that I had fought to reclaim. That dream would become Eastside Boxing and Wellness.
In my early years of coaching, I entered into another unhealthy relationship—this time with my trainer. The dynamic quickly became verbally abusive and controlling. But this new version of myself was different thanks to boxing. I had found inner strength and courage. I had grown. I had healed. I understood my self worth. I chose to leave.
I loved myself enough to know that I could pursue my boxing goals and dreams on my own. I have learned how to shift the pain and hurt I experienced into something productive. I now tell my athletes that there are no losses, only lessons.
If I could speak to my younger self, I would tell her this: love does not hurt.
I share my story because I want to pay it forward: for my athletes, for my community, and for the young girl I once was who is standing in a basketball jersey not understanding what love truly felt like.
On behalf of my 15-year-old self and the woman I am today, thank you for choosing to be part of the solution.
Please make a special gift today; just as I have found the support and the power of choice to ensure that the cycle of abuse is not continued in my life, so too do you have the power to choose to make a difference for those in need.
With all my trust and thanks,
Marsha,
To donate to YWCA Peterborough Haliburton today and help women and children in need, visit: https://wl.donorperfect.net/weblink/weblink.aspx?name=E920251QE&id=1
Let’s all work together to help those in need grow forwards. Growth begins with safety. Strength grows from support. Renewal starts with community.
You have the chance to make meaningful change today!