Know the Signs
It’s not always easy to clearly identify signs of an unhealthy relationship, particularly when it is our own. The following indicators can help us gauge the overall health of our relationships and help us identify when it might be time to seek help.
Signs of Health
- Responsibility – Do you and your partner make decisions and solve problems or conflicts together?
- Trust – Do you and your partner respect each other’s feelings, wishes and opinions and do you support each other?
- Honesty – Do you and your partner accept responsibility for your actions, admit when you are wrong and talk openly and honestly with each other?
- Fairness – Do you and your partner work through conflict so that both of you are satisfied and are you each willing to compromise?
- No Threats – Do you and your partner talk, act and resolve conflicts in ways that make you both feel comfortable and safe?
- Financial Partnership – Do you and your partner share financial decisions and responsibilities?
- Respect – Do you and your partner respect each other’s feelings, opinions and differences?
- Blame & Denial – Does your partner blame you for making the abuse happen, avoid personal responsibility or deny that there is a problem?
- Jealousy – Does your partner check up on you or act jealously or possessively towards you?
- Control – Does your partner boss you around, give orders, or make all the decisions?
- Criticism – Does your partner criticize your appearance, your ideas, your family and your friends, or purposely embarrass you in front of others?
- Fear – Does your partner have a quick temper, a history of mistreating others, threaten suicide or make you feel afraid?
- Force – Does your partner force you to do things that you don’t want to do and make you feel guilty if you disagree?
Signs of Abuse
- Physical Abuse – Does your partner slap, push or kick you?
- Sexual Abuse – Does your partner force you to be involved in sex against your will?
- Financial Abuse – Does your partner control all the money and how it is spent?
- Spiritual Abuse – Does your partner prevent you from participating in spiritual/religious practices, ridicule your beliefs, or use spiritual beliefs to justify controlling you?
- Threats and Intimidation – Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, pets, or scare you with looks, actions, or suicidal behaviour?
- Emotional and Verbal Abuse – Does your partner shout, yell, put you down, or call you names?
- Isolation – Does your partner control where you go and when, or keep you from family and friends?
If you have questions about your relationship or what you can do to help keep yourself safe, call us anytime, day or night.